Let me get on my bragging soap box for a second…
I have a boy. Yes, the same boy in my last blog that I cried buckets and tears over. But things got better and it’s so much more than I could ask for. BUT I tell you….he’s got my head in a serious tizzy. I was cold, he gives me his jacket. I needed a tank top, he gave me his wifebeater. He says something, I give him a mad look, and he kisses me on my cheek. I’m melting at everything he does and says and the way he looks at me! It’s ridiculous the way he makes me feel and the way I smile when I’m around him. I’m a totally different person than I am with anyone else. I’ve never been more honest, comfortable, and happy with anyone. One way of putting it..I’m smitten. It’s everything I ever wanted that slapped me in the face and I never saw it coming. Just like everyone has ever said to me.
The best part about this whole thing is knowing the difference between right and less than perfect fit. Never have I wanted to communicate and be honest about how I feel when I feel with the person I’m with. Mostly because I hate rocking the boat and making that person think I’m insane. However, now I say it when I feel it, which makes it ten times better because he’s honest too. Last year, at three months, I was running for the hills. I wanted out because the person that I was with made me unsure about the future. Now, at three unofficial months, I’m more comfortable with where we are. It’s so strange and should be scary, but it’s not. If it crashes and burns at this point, yes, I will feel like someone is ripping out my insides, but I’m not scared about the future. I know what I want and that’s to be with him. And he makes me smile more than anything in my life right now which means I finally found happiness. With someone.
So this is titled what it is because typically I would run and find reasons to freak out and not be with someone that makes me smile. But it’s different and beautiful and happy. And I’m not going anywhere.
